Defining love

I remember running upto him with my “tinkle digest” in my hand , jumping onto his lap and  resting my head on his chest … listening to the rhythm of his heavy breathing. He would slowly take the book form my hand and ask me in his husky voice “So well!! What have you got there today?” This was our secret ritual every day. Days never went by without me running upto him after lunch and poke him till he reads me a story. Even if he didn’t read me one he would take me through his imaginary world. And in this world everything seemed so perfect. He would talk about heaven one day and then the next he might go on to talk about the war scenes during his childhood. How he had seen Gandhi once and many other prominent people. How he walked the streets and climbed the trees. How couldn’t someone fall in love with him? I know now that it was just to see me smile to hear my giggles. My ‘appacha’ was one such man. If someone ever asked me the definition of love, I would ask them hop on into my shoes to experience what I did all those years with him. It’s a feeling not fleeting… not momentary, a something that happens inside of you and you just know it’s there and it’s there to stay.

I always asked myself “Did I ever know love?” going back to that 9 year old me I would comfort myself, knowing that he didn’t leave us forever. He is watching over me from up there, smiling at me. Helping me search for that same feeling that I felt sitting on his lap…listening to his heart beat.

Remembering you always with love…

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