She woke up to the birds chirping, rubbing her eyes slowly, and stopping for a minute. She had that surprised big eyed stare on her face, that sudden moment of realization. She knew she had to do something about it; otherwise her brains would explode into pieces. She jumped out of bed , ran to the other room , threw everything out of her bag , scrambled through her things, her eye lit up when she found it. The treasure hunt was over, but now her head was screaming out, “Write it down!”
She took her pen and a bunch of papers and headed out through the doorway, found a spot, pulled the chair aside and slumped down into it. For a minute she just sat there looking at the paper and then the sun. Tracing her lips with her index finger, she felt how chapped it is.
She snapped back, and sat there and penned it all down…
The mobile fell onto the bed, felt like I hit rock bottom, questioning my -self worth was something I never thought I would be doing. The feeling of every nerve in the brain going numb, It was all slowly painfully shutting down, like an end scene to a movie when the screen goes blank . It took him to say those words for me to realize that I was the crazy one there. The high pitched tone still rings in my head, “OH MY GOD! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!?”
Leaving the phone on, forgetting to recognize he had already cut the call. He had said one day “We are meant for each other but not meant to be together”. Yes, he was gone and this time it was my turn to play my game right, my turn to get up and leave because nobody was sitting at the other end of the table. So what changed, what was my keepsake? Like what a dream catcher would do, I filtered it all, through the spiders web, all the bad ones stuck there and all the good ones trickling down through the soft feathers into my fabricated world. The good bit was taken and that has made the all the difference.
‘The good bit’
________________________________________________________________________________________________When people asked me, they always had that surprised look. They asked, “How did it happen?” I always thought that I should have a make believe story because the reality would be less dramatic for people, but this was way too special for me and the problem – I did not have a story …an exaggerated one… no theatrical setting. I ponder from time to time on how it would have been if we ever met again. Maybe one day I will, I want to believe so I will. It would bring back a storm. Knocking down my fabricated world, would it paralyze me? Those scenarios, I have played them all in my head. I remember that day, I smile every time I think of it. He remembered it better because that’s how he would always remember me. He told me “you had something dark about you that made me fall for you… Yes! It’s those eyes. The smudged dark black kohl…” For me I was too proud to tell him. It’s when we took that walk on the road that day. I looked up at you and I Knew it. I skipped a beat. I wanted to rationalize my thoughts. I told myself it’s not right. You were the fool’s paradise I entered into. _________________________________________________________________________________________________
She snapped out of it, took the paper tore them into tiny bits. Stood up stretching herself walked towards the well, dropped them. Watched till it settled down, trying to stay afloat and then drowned away. Feeling a sense of relief, sniffing the breakfast cooking up inside. This time she walked in through that doorway, all she thought about was how many minutes she should spend in brushing her teeth. Tilting her head, fixed on that thought and humming that favorite tune in her head ,she knew, she was walking into another phase of life making her next story.